A woman who found out her husband had been having an affair for three-and-a-half years decided to “forgive” him despite the discovery leaving her “sad, hurt, angry and confused”. Alexandrea Acevedo, 26, said she didn't want to “abandon” Michael, 31, her husband of five years, in his “darkest moment”, despite learning that he had been unfaithful for the majority of their marriage.
The mum-of-three uncovered his affair when she saw a message to his lover on his phone in December 2022. She confronted Michael and he confessed that he had been seeing another woman for the last three-and-a-half years.
Michael left the family home for a week as Alexandrea struggled with what she wanted to do next. Michael then decided he needed to make a change after being threatened with a divorce.
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According to Alexandrea, he was “hellbent” on repairing their marriage and booked himself into therapy and AA to prove it. As she saw her husband's actions match his remorseful words, she decided to give him a second chance.
Alexandrea, an events designer, from Orlando, Florida, US, said: "When I first found out he had been cheating on me, I sat in a lot of hurt and anger and disbelief. I'd always talked very highly of him so to find out he’d had an affair was heart-wrenching for me.
"I went through the cycle of crazy emotions for eight or nine days. I would go from sad to hurt to angry to confused then a little bit hopeful.
"He was doing everything in his being to reconcile. But when I started to soften, I let the words he was saying become more meaningful and I saw his words match his actions. I started seeing effort in him. He chose to pick up a bible, go to therapy and to AA.
"We're now having conversations where he will listen properly and open up and talk to me. I have moments of weakness, moments of thinking that he lied to me for so long and what’s keeping him from doing it again?
"But he doesn’t want to give up and he tells me that if I give him a chance every day, he’ll continue to prove himself to me. I didn't want to abandon him in his darkest moment because he's always been a great dad and husband and I don't have any large complaints about him or our marriage in general. When I found out about the alcohol and the affair I was just shocked and it put into perspective that he really needed someone."
(Image: Alexandrea Acevedo / SWNS)
Michael, an industrial production manager, said: "At first I felt complete and utter garbage and then as time went on I kind of felt like the weight of guilt had lifted off my shoulders a little bit. It's definitely the biggest regret or mistake I've ever made and it's something that I'll regret for a very long time - if not forever.
"I'm sure there were better ways of getting to a better place but this is where we are now. I'm as grateful as anyone can be for a second chance."
At first, Michael downplayed the texts to his lover as “random messages from a friend”. But Alexandrea's “gut feeling” was that there was more to it and she decided to have a look through his phone.
After being found out, Michael initially considered taking the “easier” option of a divorce. But after a night of heavy drinking he decided that he had to put things right.
He said: "I thought it would be easier to get a divorce than make things better at the start. I didn't think I could make things better and my mentality - with all these other things like the drink - was in the wrong place.
"But one night I almost drank myself to death over a weekend and I suddenly had a moment that I wanted to sacrifice everything. I knew I needed to make it better and I had to fix things, I couldn't just walk away.
"The first thing was realising that I needed God in my life. I had denied all that stuff before but I realised that wasn't the way to live.
"I knew I needed to get help with my drinking and to see a therapist to makes things better. Alexandrea was a lot more receiving than I probably would have been.
(Image: Alexandrea Acevedo / SWNS)
The couple met in 2013, when Alexandrea had been best friends with Michael's younger sister. They hit it off and married in September 2018 before welcoming their children, aged seven, five and 11 months.
In 2019, the pair went through a period of arguing constantly and had divorce papers at the ready. But Alexandrea never suspected that Michael was having an affair.
But her suspicions grew when she saw some texts and began to think that something wasn't right. She had a look through Michael's phone and found that he had drafted a message to another woman saying: “So, why do you think she's going to start asking about that?”
She said: "I went through his phone - which I don’t normally do - and I found a drafted message with something along the lines of ‘why do you think she’s going to find out?’ That was enough ammunition for me to confront him with.
“It was 5am, my head was going, thinking the worst, hoping for the best. My husband eventually told me the truth when he woke up.
“At first it was a lot of anger and hurt, a lot of emotions and I’ve always said that infidelity is a deal breaker for me, and he knew that as well. We were arguing a lot and I really had to pry the truth out of him and when he did tell me the truth, I asked him to leave straight away.”
Alexandrea felt hurt and betrayed as she considered what to do next. She read book after book and sought advice from her family, before deciding to stop looking for the fault in herself.
Alexandrea said: "I was finding out more and more about his affair which was hard to deal with. To get to where I am now, I just stopped for looking for fault in myself and in him and stopped looking for reasons to feel bad in the situation and started looking for reasons to feel good.
"I tried to make the best of it, but I didn’t really know what that was. I started seeing effort in him.
"Before all this happened, he was stonewalling and wouldn’t respond to me. He was putting gambling, alcohol and even another woman before my me. What got us here absolutely sucks, the betrayal and the hurt that I felt, I wouldn't wish on anybody.
"But I feel like my husband had to go through those things or to hit rock bottom to grow up and to be a great husband and great dad."